Letterwriting Guidelines

Things to consider when writing to someone who is incarcerated:

• Why do I want to write to someone in prison? 
  It's important to ask ourselves what we want out of this penpal relationship. It is absolutely okay to not have a complete answer, but it is good to ask yourself what your motivations are. We all carry our own assumptions and need to continuously challenge them. Ask yourself what assumptions you might have about people who are incarcerated and how that might impact the way you write. Read this great article – The Radical Power of a Prison Pen Pal
• What is my capacity and commitment?
  For many prisoners, receiving one or two letters from someone promising to correspond regularly, but failing to follow up with further correspondence can be incredibly difficult. Being a pen pal doesn’t have to be an intense time commitment; letters can be as long or as short as you want them to be, so please be upfront about the regularity that you will be able to write —if it’s only once a month, say so. Just don’t set up expectations you will not be able to meet. And if at some point you decide to stop writing, for whatever reason, please tell them and us. 
• How might I deal with hearing about the prison system? 
  ​Writing with folks in prison can often lead to a deep education about what incarceration means that one might not have been expecting. It's important to have support systems to deal with the stories of trauma you might hear. It is very helpful to do this work in community so you can discuss what you are learning and how you might engage the system as well. Individual pen pal relationships can sometimes lead to a desire to do more advocacy for that individual or to abolish the system as a whole.
• Mail Call often happens in public spaces in the prison. 
  When someone hears their name called by a prison guard during mail call it is a reminder that people on the outside care about that person. It is also message to guards and other prisoners that this person has support and is not forgotten. This can be a vital harm reduction strategy for people who are locked up, especially queer and transgender folks.

 
The Nitty Gritty:  Important Things to Know and Do!

• Please do not speak down to, discriminate against, shame, or condescend any penpal you are communicating with. We are about building relationships and validating that our struggles as people of color, activists, sex workers, youth workers, immigrants, anti-capitalist, trans, queer, gender-nonconforming people are intricately connected with prison abolition and prisoner liberation. Please be conscious and aware of power dynamics and actively seek support around the acknowledgement and eradication of these dynamics in your correspondence. 
• Be intentional about what personal information you disclose about yourself in your correspondence (i.e.—immigrant status, age, history of incarceration, sexual preferences, etc.). It is not unusual for mail to be screened in by prisons and jails, so please keep your own safety in mind!
• Remember to be transparent about your own boundaries
  There might be some letters which feel flirtatious or sexual. Your safety and comfort are your own, so if you’re okay with sexy letters, keep writing them! If you aren’t, please respond respectfully and firmly to your pen pal. Please voice any concerns you have & your own boundaries with your correspondent in a loving and affirming way.
• Use a first and last name in your letters and when you write the return address (it doesn’t have to be your legal name – for some who work in prison, it may be better to choose a pseudonym). Say in the first letter how you found out about the person. Be sure to place your name and your address both in the letter and on the return address piece of the envelope, as some prisons do not allow the envelope to be given to the incarcerated person.
• Names. Many people that you will be corresponding with are in facilities that are not gender affirming, and some prisons will refuse to accept letters addressed to people if they are using a different name then what was legally assigned to them. Generally, we put legal names and CDCR# on envelopes and preferred names and CDCR# when addressing letters. Please clarify the name and pronouns your penpal prefers when addressing letters so your letters will not be confiscated.
• On the same note, while many of the people on our lists are living at least somewhat openly about their trans/queer/LGB/ gender-nonconforming identity, ask them first if you can openly discuss these identities and whether or not it’s okay to send them resources and information directly and overtly linked with these communities. Again, guards routinely read and censor incoming mail.
• Before sending your first letter, double check their info in the respective state or federal inmate locator. In CA this is at http://inmatelocator.cdcr.ca.gov/ - in other states, just search for the words inmate locator and the state, or you can look up federal records at https://www.bop.gov/inmateloc/. 
• If you don’t hear back from the person you’re corresponding with within 4 to 6 weeks, try sending one more, short letter and try looking them up again, just to ensure they weren't transferred since you sent your first letter. If they don't respond after a second letter, it's time to find another penpal. Keep in mind that they may still write to you somewhere down the line. Sometimes folks just have too much going on in their lives to write back right away.  
• Decide if you want to use your address or ours. If you use yours, be clear about whether your address may be shared with others on the inside who are looking for penpal relationships. If you want to use our FoW PO Box to receive mail, you must reach out to us and provie some basic info to ensure we can reach you to forward letters. Please also join our project’s email list and stay connected through events. Consider making a small donation to cover stamps as we will mail your letters to you.

FAQ for Penpals from Prisoner Correspondent Project.

Monthly Birthday Cards 

Every month, we send birthday cards to our inside members with birthdays that month. Due to COVID-19, we have moved to a remote model, where outside volunteers sign up to make and send cards, either on their own time or with a buddy. If you would like to sign up, check out our Updates or our Facebook page for links to the current sign-up form!

Click here for our Birthday Card Guidelines as well as for postcard images you can download and print.

Where to go to sign up for a penpal

It is always a great time to become a penpal. If you want to start a penpal relationship, you can learn more and sign-up here anytime: https://blackandpinkpenpals.org/

Or if you want us to match you with a penpal, just reach out to us! Or check out our instagram page where we highlight potential penpals (@FlyingOverWalls).
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Once you become a penpal, you can join this group to stay connected to other outside penpals for support and resources: 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/blackandpinkpenpalsupport/

Where to Refer Inside Members who Want a Penpal

**Our FoW chapter does not take direct penpal requests from the inside. Please do not give our address directly to folks on the inside, unless they are in Northern California. 

​We match folks through the national Black & Pink list, mostly focusing on  Northern California prisons. 

Generally, if we receive requests for penpals, we send them a letter redirecting them to our national office (address below). ​Folks not already on the B&P list can send their name, mailing address, a short bio, a short description of what they are looking for in a penpal match and any identity descriptors they want to share to:

Black & Pink
6223 Maple St #4600
Omaha, NE  68104

Restrictions

Many prisons have lots of restrictions on what you can send in the mail.  The following is a list of things you should not include:
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• tape & glue (or anything with adhesive, like stickers)
• staples, paper clips, lock picks, or anything with metal
• paint, crayon, or whiteout 
• glitter
• ribbons
• construction paper
• Polaroids
• any explicit sexual content, nudity, or references to radically political or illegal activity can (and most likely will) get a prisoner into trouble
• Kern Valley SP is rejecting homemade cards of any sort

Regulations vary by prison, so check the specific prison regulations once you have connected to your penpal. Please know that we think this is ridiculous and we are only sharing these restrictions based on personal experience with things getting refused, not because we don’t want your arts and crafts to look super fabulous.

If you make a beautiful letter with any banned materials, you can scan it, print out the image, and send that instead!